When I was in high school, my friend Greg gave me the nickname "dream-squasher". I'm sorry to say, it was apt. Many of my friends had aspirations for careers in theater and other arts, and my constant refrain was, "Yeah, you might wanna back that up with a business degree or something". To be fair, my sister had just come back from New York City Ballet, her career already over by the age of 20. It just made me sick to think of all the years of work and all the heart she put into that, and it was already gone. I just wanted everyone to play it safe, to set their sights on the middle, which I reasoned would give them a better chance at success.
Then, I had kids.
I mean, where is the fun in keeping your expectations low? What's the worst-case scenario? You spend your life in the pursuit of something you love, whether you are "successful" at it or not. What better chance do any of us have for happiness? I can tell you that I will be cheering at the top of my lungs for my kids, whatever they choose to pursue. My wish is for them to have the biggest dreams possible, and not to be held back by doubt.
I'm glad to say that my friends did not take my (terrible) advice. They are all quite successfully pursuing their dreams (Emmys and Golden Globes come to mind, Mr. Parsons), and Greg is a very well-loved and hugely successful theater director at a high school near Houston. It must be thrilling for him to know that he is changing those kids' lives and giving them such a unique experience. Really, I'm not sure I know anyone with so much imagination, and he is starting those kids on their way with such a gift.
A few days ago, I posted a rant on Facebook about name-calling/discrimination against autistic kids. Greg wrote, "Some of my favorite and most brilliant students have been artistic/autistic!" And I just thought... huh. He has autistic kids in his theater? It never occurred to me that Jonah might pursue something like that. I mean, the whole empathy/emotion thing can be a problem for kids on the spectrum, so it just never crossed my mind. And shame on me. Jonah is the sweetest, warmest, funniest kid, and who knows what he might do? God willing, I hope he'll find fantastic teachers like Greg who will support him, encourage him, and lift him up.
As a parent, I worry nearly constantly about my kids. About accidents, illness, bullying, keeping them off of drugs (I know, they're 6, 3 and 3, but still...). You know- pretty much everything. But, I'm glad to say that my overriding emotion these days is hope. I just hope and hope and hope for them. For everything they wish, everything they can imagine.
"Ah, but man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?"
-Robert Browning
