I've been thinking about my sister and this time in her life since Black Swan came out. Rest assured, she had a much more pleasant experience with her ballet career, and a far more graceful exit. I remember her leaving for New York on my very first day of high school, and how much changed on that day. I wouldn't trade a minute of my time in high school (though my fashion choices remain a mystery), but our experiences were so different. I mean, she took her SAT with Vanessa from the Cosby show. I'm pretty sure I ended up at Denny's with Sarah, Jim and Greg after mine.
I guess I just envy that she had that time in her life that was truly extraordinary. I wonder sometimes if there is still something in me that might make me special in that way. My fantasy WAS to write a critically-acclaimed novel, which Oprah would then put on her list (I love Oprah- I can't help it). I can't BELIEVE she's retiring. Now I have to come up with a new plan. Also, it's sort of unlikely that I would be able to write such a book, seeing as I lack the imagination, talent and tenacity. Also, I subscribe to US weekly, which doesn't seem very writerly.
What I do have are my own extraordinary moments, the ones that changed my life. The day Corbin first asked me out, just outside of the tower at UT. I was already sure about him, even then. The little moments I had with patients and their families in my brief career as a nurse- when you know that person has been stripped bare, is opening their true self to you. The morning I found out I was pregnant with Elena, and held on to that delicious secret all day before telling Corbin. The ultrasound that showed I was having twins, and the first time I held them and thought, "Oh God, now what?".
All I have ever really wanted was a happy home, but that is not such a simple thing. Many people who are wildly successful in other ways never have that, so I recognize my unbelievable luck. It is, in a way, extraordinary.
It is extraordinary. Just look at them. They are divine. And you must have a little ESP as I was just telling Jay today that when I look into Ava & Elle's faces, I feel unbelievably lucky to be their mom. It is the best job in the world. Maybe you can venture into the psychic world...and you never know when the best seller will happen!
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The extraordinary novel of your life is still be written and only God knows the whole wonderful story. By experiencing life, you may even be gathering information for your first bestseller.
ReplyDeleteLove ya, Apryl
I wouldn't give up on the novel thing just yet.
ReplyDeleteHalf of writing a successful novel is being able to string words together in sentences that feel right as they roll around in your head. You have that down. So don't worry about the talent.
The imagination needed for writing a novel is not the ability to come up with the "new" but to make the "already" interesting. You have that down as well.
That only leaves tenacity. Can't help you there.
Oh, and the other half of writing a successful novel is having a kick-ass name. You're aces there as well.